The Bible for Black Girls By Chelsea Claverie

Review done by your sista: Beckybeck
***WARNING***
This book content may shock certain readers. The language is pretty raw, may be sexual and vulgar. If you are not a black girl, your feelings might be hurt. Unfortunately for you, Chelsea did not take your feelings in consideration and neither will I. Black girls feelings are the only thing we care about. It’s all about them. I am not sorry. You’ve been warned.

Hey my sistas! Hope y’all are doing well!!! If not I really hope this article will make you feel better. It is supposed to be funny (well…a little bit at least and if it isn’t, well my bad. I’m trying. Please, bear with me). So here it is!!! Our first book review!!! The book I chose to introduce to you is “The Bible for Black Girls” written by Chelsea Claverie.What you have to understand is that, it is not really a book, but more a collection. A collection of multiple posts made on Tumblr, then put together and organized in 8 different categories: Note to self (& you too), Aesthetic, Niggas, Random shit, Pop culture, Goals, Life of a blogger (& other technology) and Just to let you know.All those posts have been written by Chelsea on her personal Tumblr blog and DeKeshia S. Horne is the one who put them together and categorized them afterwards.

By doing so, they created one of the best books I ever read.

I’m dead ass serious. There is only 104 pages in this book; it may just look like nothing more than a couple of Tumblr posts, made by some random black girl, but it is way more than that.

It’s about a sista sending love to other sistas, giving them advices, standing up for them and supporting them unconditionally. It doesn’t feel like you are reading a book at all, but more like you’re talking to your girlfriend, to your best friend, to your sista. She’s the definition of real; her posts are the truth.

Every black girl should have this masterpiece in their room; it is SO IMPORTANT.But anyway I talk too much let’s get down to business.
Here some quotes from the book and my comments on them.

What I’m about to show you is nothing more than a glimpse. Hopefully it will make you want to read the whole thing! Let’s go! So this book is all…

….ABOUT BLACK WOMEN
“it’s so wild to me that black girls constantly have to fight for everything even a fucking text post on Tumblr dot com that’s positive about us? We have to share everything. It has to be ALL girls. When white people say ‘all girls’ they really just mean white girls loooool.”

Now, I am just trying to look for the lie. *looking for some lies in this statement*. Nah can’t find any. I don’t know if I want to talk about this because girl it is just the truth, what else can I add?
I saw so many post uplifting black girls that ended up being destroy by negativity; “why do you have to make this about race? ALL girls are beautiful! ALL girls’ rock!! Why do you people always want to separate yourself?? It should be ALL girls”

Bruh. B R U H.

White girls are everywhere: in the magazine, on runways, in music videos, in movies…

Society tells them that they are beautiful all the time. They are the one with the “fair” skin and the “good” hair. European feature is what is considered beautiful. They already are the centre of the universe and they don’t want to let us be the centre of A POST, Of A HASHTAG, OR OF AN EVENT?
Me to them: “Girl… You seriously need to get your life. Chill. You have it easy.”
…ABOUT RACISM
“um if you are on the fence about Ferguson or you are on this ‘we are the world. We all bleed red. Not all white people are bad. Let the world be peace. This is beyond race’ bullshit unfollow me rn I’m not even kidding. Black people are out here dying. This shit aint a game.”

OK. OKAY. This is real and I need you to hear me. Yes, we all human. Yes we all bleed red. But please explain to me why are you telling ME THIS????? Like I already know this, I am fighting so I can access to equity and because I am a human I know this but DO YOU?? Always asking me about my hair, about my skin colour, about my food as if I was from planet mars. Do you know that I am a human just like you? It doesn’t seem like you do. You are still so surprise to see that I talk proper French/English. Was I supposed to talk a foreign language? Even if I did does it make me weird or an idiot? Explain this to me. I am perfectly conscious that I am a human being just like you….but do you?

….ABOUT RANDOM SHIT
“shout out to the nigga that came up with the brilliant idea to have violin strings play in the background of sisqo’s thong song!!!!!”

If you don’t know about this song go listen to it. It is an old school song about thong lol. Can you imagine talking about thong and having violin string in the background like…. how creative is that??? Please get some education and go listen to this classic hahaha you won’t regret it. It’s so good! I just passed from a topic like Ferguson to a thong song but I’m telling you this is exactly what she does in the book, you go from a post that make you want to throw your fist in the air (power to the people type of thing) to a post that will make you laugh to tears. It’s lit.
…ABOUT NIGGAS
“I cant stand ‘I only like women who wear heels’ type niggas. Who the fuck care what you like? *stomps on your head with my timbs*”

*stomps on their head with my converse*. Mmmh…actually no. *stomps on their head with my heels*.There is a whole chapter on “niggas” in this book. And there is a reason why lol. THERE IS SO MUCH TO SAY. Boys that comment on everything girls do like…can we breathe? You can have preference , there is nothing wrong with that. But what get’s on my nerve is when they start shaming you because you do not fit their preferences…uh…who are you? Did I ask? We all heard it. “Why do you wear so much make up? I like natural girls. Why do you wear weaves? Why do you wear heels? You are too tall! Why are you wearing sneakers? A girl is so much prettier with heels! Why is your skirt so short? Who are you trying to impress?”Not you bro, go back in your lane! BYE! BYEEE!! Why are you talking? You don’t even know which girl is wearing makeup, and who doesn’t!! You have NO IDEA which girl is wearing makeup and which girl does t! And for your info even if you bring me to the pool on the first date…..my makeup won’t come off. You are not dealing with no average girl. You have no idea what you are talking about so WHY are you still talking??Oh…true…society taught you that you are entitled to everything, including a woman’s  body.
…ABOUT THE 90s/EARLY 2000s
“I wish I had a 90s r&b singer that wore tommy Hilfiger boxers on a lollipop”“still crying @ the fact that I can never be a 90s r&b superstar”

If you know me, you know that I am 90s/early 2000s crazy! The fashion, the music everything was so great!! Honestly I wish I was a 90s superstar too. One day I will be able to rock a 90s/00s look every single day. With a beat face all the time. I am not there yet but I’m getting there.
I get excited every time someone tells me that I looks like I came out of the 90s. When this retail girl said that I look like I was coming out from a show like the fresh prince of bel air I almost hugged her seriously! I had to calm myself down. Instead I made a Facebook status, and now I’m mentioning this episode here hahaha. One day I will achieve my goal. One day I will become Lisa “left eye” Lopes!!…

ABOUT YOU&ME

“is proud of myself for even showing up to class”

Honestly, I’m a bad student. I love to learn, I do but school is wack. They low key/high key want to kill our ass. If you do not relate to this comment or quote at all please comment below and share your tip on how you stay motivated for school. Please don’t be selfish, share your secret.

…ALWAYS ABOUT BLACK WOMEN

“Everytime I see a cute ass black girl on campus I say silently in my head: ‘yes sis slay a lil bit’!”

*Me, when I see a pretty girl*:

“WOOOOW you are so pretty!! I love your skirt it is so cute, where can I buy one?”
*Me, when I see a pretty black girl*:

“Girl. GUUUUUUUUUUUUUURL!!! You’re ass look so good in those jeans DANM! And this lipstick? I’ve been looking for this colour FOREVER! WHERE did get it!!! Baby girl this weave is fire!! 22 inch Brazilian hair okay okaaayyyyy wap fè-l (ur killing it in hatian kreol)!!! Your baby hair are laaaaaaaid girl I WAS NOT READYYYYYYY”

I wish I could write more but seriously need to go to sleep…(yeah I’m last minute…what’s new tho?) I wish I could go on and on and on…. But im already at 2000 words….but I struggle in school woth my essays 😒
Anyway, what did you think about it? Let us know in the comment below sistas! This conversation got to be a two way streets what you thing is important!And btw, Chelsea still has a tumblr and her post are as relevant today, her tumblr is now ninthwardjawn.tumblr.com

In conclusion: LET US KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!! A GIVEAWAY FOR THIS BOOK WILL COME SHORTLY IF YOU ARE GIVING US GOOD FEEDBACK!!See you soon!!

From a sista,
Outta love!

“Shoutout to my homie God for giving me this fat ass and this beautiful brown skin”
-Chelsea Calvarie

** Every extract was taken out of Bible for Black Girl.**

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